I USED TO BELIEVE. NOW I KNOW
I want to tie the past to the present and bridge the gap between Torrey Jones the believer in contrast to Wet.Dirt, the one who now knows. How the infant MC broke the cocoon of religion and matured into the spiritual yet physical form I present myself as today.
Now, a tooting of the horn is in order. Those my friends, are Bars. (Laugh)
Kevin Wesley and Ray Hagins were the beginning of my life changing experience. I began to post certain questions on my Facebook page. I was slipping information into my post trying to get a certain type of response.
I wondered if I was the only one who felt this yearning to learn more. Am I the only one who feels that certain things in the Bible are at least questionable? I wanted to know if there was anyone willing to do a little research with me to see what we could find.
Most of the members from my church back home, are friends on my Facebook page. What I noticed is that everyone reads everyone else’s post but don’t always respond by liking or commenting on Facebook.
However, they may be inclined to directly or indirectly give commentary of what my post could be leading to as far as why is he questioning the Bible? Is his faith wavering? Has Satan found a way to deceive him? Is he mad at God? Does he no longer believe in Jesus and why?
Answers to above questions without drawing out the suspense, 1. Because I can. 2. I learned it’s better to know than to have faith in some instances. 3. No, I cannot be deceived by a fictitious character. 4. No, I can’t be mad at God. He’s not the one who wrote, nor forced the Bible upon us as a fear tactic. And finally, 5. I don’t believe in the son of god because I know the sUn of God’s creation.
I had an array of questions that every few days I would post to see if anyone would respond.
The flood. The Ark and whether it could have been preserved in anyway? How was Jonah able to survive in a fish out at sea for 3 days? Does Jesus have anyone from his blood line that could be on earth today? Although 2,000 years is a long time, I’d assume that depending on the situation there could be some trace of his bloodline somewhere.
Questions that didn’t necessarily give indication I was second guessing religion, but I wanted to make people think.
At this point, I was getting a lot of information as well as inspiration from various spiritual teachers and speakers by way of YouTube.
I also came across another game changer. The Kybalion. I cannot remember how I came across this book initially, but I do remember hearing teachers who taught on African Spirituality speak of this book.
For whatever reason I was drawn to it. I went to Barnes and Noble and bought a copy.
At the time I found a place very secluded. It was a small playground across the street from this huge apartment complex that had a few parking slots. During the day, especially during common business hours, it was empty.
I would go there just to chill. I had been learning about meditation and just started to practice it for myself.
When I bought the Kybalion, I had some time to myself and went to my chill spot.
(Short detour) I am not an avid reader. Before I really started to question religion, I could count on one, maybe two hands all the books I had read in their entirety throughout my life.
While I was in the navy, I came across a series of books by Donald Goins that I read to pass time while we were out at sea.
The Bible was definitely another book I consumed. Between listening to the audio book version of the King James Edition and physically reading it myself, I’d imagine that I’d been through the Bible in its entirety more than once.
What’s interesting is, I came nowhere reading it in its entirety as an active preacher, but I did do a lot of studying in various sections. Especially the New Testament, Proverbs, and Psalms.
My Bishop and assistant pastor were always there to help with any questions I may have had and studied with me.
(Back to my chill spot.) Over a few days, I completed reading the Kybalion. What made it so powerful to me, was how the book could be related to life. Life minus the embellished stories and questionable miracles that we have come familiar with in religious texts.
The principles of Mentalism, Correspondence, Vibration, Polarity, Rhythm, Cause and Effect, and Gender. If you take time to read the book, The Kybalion breaks down each of those principles in a simple form that can be related to your life. Then it’s up to you to apply those principles to your life.
At points it can be a tough read with certain terminology but if you can deal with the Thees, Thous, Verily, and Thines, word concepts of the bible, the Kybalion should not be that difficult.
I started to understand my life in its spiritual yet physical form. I started learning about the energy of my attitude and how it attracts similar situations that produced the realities I live or lived in.
The Kybalion along with Napoleon Hill books, “Think and Grow Rich” and “Outwitting the Devil” added insight to my life that up until then I lacked.
I began to see why my life has worked out the way it’s worked out. How certain people and events made their way into my life. I started seeing and understanding that I was a spiritual being having an earthly experience. I don’t want to sound spooky but it’s what I’ve learned and most importantly how I feel.
I started understanding the powerful being that I could be. The Kybalion says “when the ears of the student are ready to hear, then cometh the lips to fill them with wisdom”.
For 44 years of my life (Get it. 444) I wasn’t ready.
However, the foundation had long been laid. My time preaching in church set in motion the chain of events that led me to the very path that I’m on today.
It opened my mind to the concept of a higher power and the discipline it takes to elevate yourself to your best version.
Religiously, your best version is to be in total submission to the power of God or Jesus or if you happen to be Muslim, Allah or Muhammad.
Spiritually, your best version is to be in alignment with your higher self. Learn about the connection you have with this universe and your role in it from a personal standpoint.
Once you understand your role, then do what you can to bring value to this existence that can be a contribution to the universe. This is where sharing whatever gift you may have comes into play.
This to me, was liberating when I was able to understand the difference between the two.
With Spiritually, I chose my own path. I chose to be responsible for my own reality and not put that on some entity or man-made concept outside of myself.
Following a religion, more specifically, my experience as a Christian, rules had to be followed, traditions and customs had to be adhered too and at the end of my life, God had the power to say Yay or Nay to my eternal destination.
I believe we as people can create our own heaven or hell so to speak with the choices we make. Worrying about where I go when I die seems so small when the present moment is to be lived to the fullest. That’s Spirituality in my opinion.
Although I’ve distanced myself from religion, I won’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Parts of the book, The Bible, I still hold with a great deal of value. The book of Psalms and Proverbs have a host of wisdom that can be applied to many aspects of life.
Plenty of the words in red in the New Testament have wisdom and life changing inspiration when there read from the proper perspective.
The reason I intentionally refer to them as the words in red rather than the words of Jesus is because I cannot say Jesus was the author of those words nor can I definitively say he existed.
We don’t have his birthday and every year he dies and raises from the dead in different months.
Google or YouTube the Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox and see if you can find the connections to those yearly occurrences and how they can be attached to the birth of Jesus, his death and resurrection. The son of god or the creator of the universe who gave us the sUn.
I’d give my own elementary explanation here, but I think it would be more powerful to consume that information without my influence.
Anyway, as I move along, Torrey Jones as a believer, was a follower. I was told what to do, what to believe, how to believe and not to rock the boat.
God is too good and far above me as a wretched sinner to think about asking him a question. All I will ever need is in the confines of those 66 books and just have faith.
Wet.Dirt on the other hand, cut out the middle man, began to think for himself, and simply asked God a few questions. Not only did he supply answers with explanations, I was also awarded freedom from a bondage that I was never supposed to be tied to in the first place. None of us for that matter.
To help you think about it in its simplest context, babies are not born Christian, Jew, Muslim or members of any religion. Babies are just brand new souls in the beginning of a journey called life. There born free.