My Journey From Religion To Spirituality Part 5:

Kevin Wesley

From time to time over the years a small question would whisper into my mind. Very subtle. I think it was something that would make its way to me during my time in church then poof. Be gone.

Who were black folks praying to before slavery?

While I was a member of church preaching, the incident with Rodney King took place. When the verdict came down and the police officers were acquitted, I remember how angry I was. I was shocked.

I was also shocked that my pastor condemned the people who were looting.

On one hand, I do understand to a degree his not approving of the looters. I wasn’t in agreeance either, but I understood the anger.

My thought process was instead of destroying your own neighborhoods, go to the neighborhoods and people who produced such a heinous outcome in the verdict. Simi Valley. Maybe Beverly Hills or Hollywood. Why South-Central L.A?

I remember when Rodney King spoke his now famous words “Can we all just get along,” I felt a certain way about it. I felt like he may have been coaxed into saying that to stop the riots. It almost felt like he was some sort of pawn. He was the victim and somehow being the front man to stop the riots, felt like a slap in the face.

Another thing that bothered me was my pastor being behind that comment.

For some reason it just rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t expect him to say fuck the police, but he and I understood that racism and police brutality has always been a part of the treatment of black people in this country. Him being a black minister and seeming to side against the those who were not only victimized by this isolated event but victimized for hundreds of years in this country by police brutality was kind of weak to me. The turn the other cheek approach seemed weak to me.

Preachers can be very outspoken and can often say things that are against the pulse of the congregation, but I think that in certain situations, they should gauge that pulse somehow before they speak publicly on certain sensitive issues.

I never confronted my pastor about it.

He was a Bishop and I was a beginning minister. Most of everything I had learned about Christianity and specifically Holiness had been either directly or indirectly taught by him.

I was a kid and it seemed out of place to openly oppose my pastor on a subject as sticky as this one.

I kind of felt weak for it myself. Maybe I could have been creative and said something that the younger folks could have related to while at the same time not overstepping my boundaries and seeming disrespectful towards my Bishop.

My pastor often spoke of “the spirit of God” giving him messages and if the message in this scenario was to be in agreeance with Rodney King’s statement and condemning the looters, I wasn’t going to challenge him in anyway. It just wasn’t my place.

I think that period of time may have been the genesis of the question at hand.

Who were black folks praying to before slavery? Somehow, I knew we weren’t worshipping or praying to Jesus. I was clear on that but not having the answer began to prick at me.

I remember making a horribly ignorant statement at one point that to this day I regret even thinking of.

At one point I thanked God for slavery because had it not been for slavery I or black folks in general would have never known who Jesus is.

I’m even ashamed to even write such nonsense but for the sake of explaining my journey it’s necessary.

Even today, I hear that same thing coming from black folks. I began to ask myself, why would God see fit to subject black people to slavery just so they could be introduced to him?

Why wouldn’t Jesus reveal himself to people in Africa before the Trans-Atlantic slave trade?

In church there is an unwritten rule to never QUESTION GOD! His ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts.

There are stories throughout the Bible that explicitly show the wrath of God and what happens to those who disobey or oppose him.

People seem to accept these stories and events without questioning why such harsh punishments or alternatives are even necessary.

My biggest example is the flood. As the story goes, God was unhappy he made man because of man’s sinful ways and wanted to wipe this sinful being away by flooding the whole world and killing almost everyone in it. A weird choice for the sake of cleaning the slate and starting over from scratch.

My question to God is, why not just show man in the very beginning the difference between wrong and right or even if there is wrong or right in the first place.

It seems like he just murdered the world as a show of power just because he could.

Kind of ruthless if you ask me.

Anyway, bringing this up to present times, or when I began to really question things around 2017, I would never dream to utter these thoughts openly until 2017.

However, I began to use my thoughts to separate the God of the Bible and feel as though these stories, this God, Jesus were possibly just that. Stories.

I began to think, if we’re made in God’s image and he loves us as his creation and we’re his children, why would he want us ignorant? What would be so wrong to question him about life or anything pertaining to it?

Why would he be so opposed to us learning? Why didn’t he just explain to Adam and Eve what and who the serpent was in the beginning and most importantly why am I and everyone else paying for a sin that we weren’t here to commit?

The more I thought about it, the less it made sense it was to me.

Enter Kevin Wesley.

I’m sitting at home one Sunday night if I remember correctly. As I’m scrolling through Facebook, I run across a video that literally changed my life.

The title had something to do with an ex-pastor leaving church.

He spoke passionately. He had found information and could no longer keep it to himself and choose to make a video to share his thoughts and let people know that he was making a drastic change in his life.

I remember him saying that if you did the same research he did, you’d come to the same conclusions that he came to.

Those words stuck in my mind for some period of time. I didn’t immediately take action nor at that point did I consider leaving religion, but the seed had been planted.

Weeks went by. At that time, I was in the process of trying to find a new church home for my family. My difficulty came when I tried to find a place of worship like what I came up in as a youngster.

I currently live in Kansas. I came up in the Pentecostal sect of Christianity.

I looked for a pastor who was a holiness preacher and followed the doctrine of the apostles in the book of Acts. Acts 2:38 says to repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus.

A lot of churches baptize using the name of the father, son, and the holy ghost. These are mere technicalities that I won’t go deep into now, but it was important that I remained in the apostle’s doctrine.

I taught this to my wife and was raising my kids to learn this as well.

Although my search for a home church didn’t produce the outcome I wanted, my church from back home in California began to have Bible studies on conference calls that could be joined throughout the country.

I was happy about this. I, along with my wife could get the teaching and preaching that I felt most comfortable with.

By this time my pastor passed away years ago. My assistant pastor back then was now the head of the church.

Being able to join the conference calls on a weekly basis with my church from home was a pleasure and it allowed my wife to really understand the holiness preaching I was brought up on. The pastor had always been a brilliant teacher and could easily break things down in the bible that were difficult to understand.

At this point, I was still studying from time to time, but I wasn’t living a holy life. Through the years away from church I picked up a nasty smoking habit, drank alcohol, sometimes way too much, smoked weed, cursed, and pretty much indulged in all worldly activities and living that sinful life if you will.

However, I did want to make a change. I watched preachers on TV.

I was listening to the audiobook version of the Bible at work and the itch of possibly preaching began to come back.

I got back into rapping and still loved boxing but felt maybe there could be a way to integrate those lifelong loves in a Christian Life without feeling so conflicted or convicted for that matter.

I just wanted to live a righteous life and enjoy certain things in it.

However, this Kevin Wesley thing just wouldn’t go away. What did he find out that ignited him to make such a firm stance as to go against the word of God?

I went into his group page on Facebook. I asked a question to the group. I wondered if they were atheists.

To me, atheists was such a taboo thing, that I grouped people who were openly atheist with people who worshipped the devil. I just didn’t know what an atheist was. For whatever reason no one responded to my question. I thought it was rather odd that no one replied but I let it go.

A couple of weeks went by and I decided to search Kevin Wesley again through Facebook and found videos he was making. He had podcasts and was teaching lessons from things he had learned.

These were eye opening things to me that at that time, I chose to keep to myself.

He mentioned a name that up until then I had never heard of before. The subject was on ancient Egypt. There was a figure from that time named Horus Osiris. Wesley spoke on the similarities of Horus and Jesus.

Horus was another seed that was planted that I didn’t do anything immediately to research, but it was something that once you hear it, you can’t un-hear it.

I began to be consumed with learning this new information. I found Wesley’s YouTube page and found all his videos and podcasts. One after the other I watched and learned more and more things I had previously not known.

I saw a video of Wesley where he was in a congregation speaking. At the end of the video I found out that he was invited to speak at a church that was pastored by Ray Hagins. I had never heard of Hagins before. It seemed like the more I watched these videos and slowly got into my own studying, these different pieces of information found its way in my path.

It was so fresh and intriguing to me and I began to get the answer to the question I wanted. Who were black folks praying to before slavery?

Ray Hagins was once a Christian minister as well. He did a lecture/sermon about the first time he had heard of Horus Osiris.

Ray Hagins

The video above is an in-depth lesson on how Hagins was introduced to one of the primary figures of Ancient Egypt. Horus Osiris.

Although it was new to me, something in my spirit felt connected to the information. It made me feel empowered. It was like the first time a teenager receives a much-coveted driver’s license.

One thing Ray Hagins makes a point in doing through out this lecture and other lectures I noticed was his willingness to say don’t believe my words but do the research for yourself as well.

You don’t hear this type of talk during sermons in church. The closest I’ve heard is for the congregation to follow along and read the scriptures with the pastor or whoever is designated to do the readings.

Hagins also uses scriptures from The Bible and compares the texts to factual evidence outside of The Bible while he’s teaching his lectures. What I’ve learned about individuals who say they do research when it pertains to the Bible, its often other Christian related sources outside of the Bible that may be accurate but not totally objective.

In my opinion, history and facts can’t be changed. If the Bible is based on events and people who lived on earth, I should be able to find those same stories and events outside of The Bible that has no Christian or religious influence whatsoever. So, it’s not much of an opinion at all. It is what it is.

I’ve never heard a pastor, minister, Bishop, or even the Pope read from a text in the Bible and provide evidence outside of it to prove their point within it.

The story is one thing, but historical evidence is stands alone.

If the story of the Flood in the Bible was based on a true event, I should be able to find that event outside of the Bible.

I could watch a lecture of Ray Hagins and go behind him and fact check what he’s talking about.

There are many points of references that can be used when a person is speaking on true events, people, and places. Books, libraries, the internet, videos and if your old school, blow the dust you’re your encyclopedias.

Ray Hagins teaches from an African Spirituality based premise. Before then, I’m not sure if I’d ever heard the term African Spirituality.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I was truly understanding my own culture and history.

It was empowering to know that my ancestors were Kings and Queens and contributed to the very civilization we live in today. Math, Science, Music, and how our connection to nature, and our environment works hand in hand.

The way we should be eating, how we should be treating one another. Uplifting one another. Self pride. All this is African Spirituality.

All this knowledge and wisdom was taking from us and we were given whips, chains, heinous treatment, a Bible and Jesus.

The reason I separate Jesus from the Bible in this instance is that when blacks were slaves we were not allowed to read.

The slave masters taught certain slaves certain scriptures in the Bible more so to control them rather than empower them.

Slaves were forced to obey the slave masters and the God of the slave master.

Most every group of people had a choice of who they would see as God.

Blacks in America weren’t given that choice let alone the freedom to worship as they saw fit. Through time, the original traditions and spiritual practices that once brought strength, hope and love to our ancestors were forgotten.

This is why many black folks in America are in the weak spiritual conditions they’re in today.

In my opinion, pride in our own selves, and the understanding of the resourcefulness that we inherently have was replaced with Christianity and a dependency on a God that has never revealed himself to the very people who have longed for him the most.

In simple terms we were put on earth with everything that we will ever need. God is not outside of us but within.

To be more direct in answering the question of who blacks were praying to before slavery, the answer was nothing. Our ancestors had a reverence for nature and the sun. The sun is the light. A life giver and sustainer. Nature is our base. The oxygen that’s provided by the trees, the water we get from the oceans, rivers, and lakes, the food is provided by plants, fruits, vegetables and herbs provide nutrients, medicine, and other elements to sustain our physical growth and well being.

The animals and insects on land, fish in the waters, and birds in the air, all contribute to our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well beings. However, without the sun none of this is possible.

Horus, as well as being a mythical figure is also referred to as a sun God. He’s the way, the truth, and the light. He can walk on water.

Does all this sound familiar to you?

Horus is a metaphor for the sun. Or some would call him the sUn of God. Are you picking up what I’m dropping? Are you following me? Are you understanding the words that are written in this chapter?

Black folks before slavery never acknowledged a son of god. Our souls were not lost. We weren’t sinners that needed to be saved from anything. We weren’t wretched individuals. Women weren’t created from man’s rib, men and all humans for that matter, came to this earthy existence through the portal of the woman’s vagina.

This stuff, this knowledge and wisdom is powerful to me. Life changing. Now I see what Kevin Wesley was talking about when I initially saw his first video. I felt him but didn’t know how or why. It just connected with me. Now I’m fully aware of why I felt him. I did the same research and digging as he did and came to the same conclusion he came to.

Torrey Jones AKA Wet.Dirt

Published by: Wet.Dirt

Greetings friends. My name is Torrey Jones AKA Wet.Dirt. I'm a writer, music producer, song writer, composer, rapper and a somewhat rookie blogger. I welcome you to my page. I love hip-hop, boxing, spirituality and other things that you will be seeing as we go on this journey together. At times Ill be all over the place for things I blog via writing or blog but also, I'm here as a support for people who are in there transition from leaving religion. I'm not here to push anyone in any direction but what I've experienced in my own journey that it could be a very lonely time in ones life. Hopefully I can provide encouragement, references, and maybe just someone to listen. Also, I definitely like to have fun. I love boxing. I'll be writing blogs on that from time to time. Hip-hop. I love rap. Ill be sharing my own music along with other artist I feel we all should know about. Then, Ill just be blabbering my thoughts from time to time in entries I call "My thoughts and S#!T I probably shouldn't say". All in all, I'm here to learn and help others learn and feel safe while reminding folks and myself to not take this thing called life so seriously. Peace and Love Folk!!!!

Categories The Journey Of Torrey Jones And His Conversion To Wet.Dirt, UncategorizedTags, , , , , , Leave a comment

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